What you can’t commit, omit

A nobody developer’s mistakes and learnings

I won’t kid you, this isn’t a motivational blog.

I do not want to tell you that development gets easier with time, it doesn’t.

I do not want to tell you that consistency pays off when you learn development.

And I absolutely do not want to tell you that you aren’t a moron who knows nothing about what he/she is doing when they code.

What I do want to tell you is that you will make mistakes, horrible unforgivable mistakes and yet somehow, you will pull through. You will learn if you are tenacious and you will improve if you can keep your ego aside.

I’ll start this story with my first commit.

Workaholic

Right after I graduated college, I started working for a very prestigious Tech giant in India. As is the case with other MNC’s, this was a well-oiled machine and we were simply cogs put into motion for the greater good.
After enduring an arduous task of intense training, it was time to be put into use.

The mistakes

The first mistake was not working on my skillset. As a fresher at any job, you must be willing to unlearn and relearn entirely new skillsets in a matter of weeks if not days. My first mistake came when I didn’t display any consistency in my learning and practice patterns. This created an unnecessary fear of the project requirements that I had and disabled me from being at my best.

The second mistake was to mask my insecurities by obsessively shadowing seniors. You should never be a kissass period. If you lack in your skillset or performance you might be inclined to put the gun on someone’s shoulder rather than fire it off yourself, but that would just alleviate your fears and make you even more dependent on external validations.

The final mistake was to eliminate any work-life balance. I used to consistently work for more than 12-14 hours a day 6 days a week. This wasn’t due to the work pressure, but due to my overwhelming desire to compensate for my previous mistakes and build a foundation for my future prospects. This was clearly the biggest mistake. I was constantly tired, my health took a turn for the worse and my social obligations and relationships suffered. No mattered how much you work if you can’t balance that with your real-life desires and duties, you would end up feeling worthless.

The Corrections

After the wrecking ball of a year, I decided to take a break from my work and introspect. I need to make some much-needed corrections and that needed my full attention.

Skillset

The most important tool a developer has is his/her primary skillset. I decided to upgrade myself to a full stack developer and to that effect, I enrolled myself into a few online programs aimed and honing this skillset.
My routine was simple. Pick a topic, learn it, build something to test what I learned, note my shortcomings and revise.

In just under 3 months, I had mastered what I needed to know. My entire schedule had been re-worked around understanding what I was doing and what outcome I was getting. I even managed to finish creating full projects and completely revamp my resume. This also helped me diversify my career prospects and I began freelancing. I landed a few clients and finally gained confidence in my skillset and got out of the imposter syndrome I suspected I had.

Personality

My next project was to work on my personality. I worked with life coaches and counselors to address my dependency issues. I decided to build two personality aspects. First, confidence in my strengths and skills. It helped immensely in addressing my insecurities while promoting self-reliance. Second, teamwork and cooperation, which truly improved my mindset on being dependent on seniors for everything (basically eliminating being a kissass). I worked on delegating tasks, improving communication, and taking responsibility for any mistakes and shortcomings I had. It was a truly tremendous undertaking as I was stepping out of my comfort zone and basically practicing the saying of manning up!

Work-life balance

Finally, the last correction was to inculcate a work-life balance. I decided to impose a strict eight-eight and half-hour workday. Working from home, our schedule is what decides our entire life balance. I worked to have punctual timelines on eating, sleeping, working, and enjoyment while making extra efforts to reconnect with my friends and family. The results were dramatic and immediate. My anxiety and stress levels went down. My mood and health improved and my productivity shot up! I felt well-rested and even eliminated some bad habits I had picked up through communication and help from my peers!

The journey from an MNC to the next phase of my life was truly a revelation, but it didn’t mean I stopped being stupid!

Confused

I soon found a job in one of the most prominent, up-and-coming startups in the country. My lifestyle completely changed and I started making good money too! Life was on a roll and I was enjoying what I had.

In all honesty, this was the high time of my career. I was utilizing all my skillsets, I had made great friends and I was recognized, respected, and awarded in my organization. Life couldn’t be better, could it?

It’s in such a high time where everything goes your way that you realize what you truly aim to become.

In struggle, we survive, in prosperity we dream.

I started working on my own undertakings a bit more and decided to further push my limits. It’s there that I realized the only mistake I had done in this phase of my life.

The Mistake

I had inadvertently diverted from my core skill set. Now I was a trained full-stack developer. I had spent hours and hours on end to hone my skills in a wide variety of technologies.

But, at my current job, all of this was grossly underutilized. I had more of a management role than a tech role. Sure it had its benefits but I had erred on the side of choosing what field I wanted to be in.

I was working with some of the giants in the industry of tech, yet my aim had been completely different from the start. I wanted to build, not manage.

This created anxiety and a cycle of dissatisfaction in whatever I did. I was good at the current job, but, good wasn’t what I wanted to be.

The Correction

The only correction I needed was to re-align myself.

I started working even more on showcasing my true skillset and building a few products for that. It was then that I was headhunted by my current company where I got to showcase my skill set and work with some like-minded amazing bunch of people. The key to this was in understanding my own strengths and introspecting to improve rather than be comfortable.

The Comfort zone is the killer of dreams! We can not succeed unless we have a maniac-like obsession to achieve what we want. Sure there can be risks, however, I truly believe that can do better we just stay tenacious enough.

The New World

Now, my corrections don’t mean that I stopped making mistakes, on the contrary, I made even more horrible mistakes. However, as I traverse this phase of my life, I continue to explore and understand what I need to do to overcome these and omit what I don’t want to commit.

I am a believer in the saying ” whatever happens, happens for a reason”, and with this, I continue to find meaning in life and keep on improving on my goals.

We need to understand that improvement is not a one-stop station. It’s a continuous journey that may take you years and years to do, and, only if you don’t stop, you may just succeed.

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This blog is quite different from my traditional style of writing! I intend to diversify and push much better content with a vast range of topics in the coming year which will truly be a reflection of my journey as I take steps into the world of tech!

Discover more in the next blog!!

I keep on coding something cool, visit ankush.tech to see what all I am doing!

If you wish to read about my work, here a book that I published recently – “CSS Bullets, a comprehensive guide to all the CSS you need!“

Interested in React? Learn react from scratch with my book, “REACT Bullets“.

Thanks for sticking around!

Till next time, keep howling, hustling and learning!